Your IQ by-laws say this: "Treat others with the same respect that you'd want them to show you. Please be tolerant of others who may not know everything you know.
Why are you allowing this person to make my life Hell on IQ? This person is not being either tolerant or respectful. Why has this person been allowed to make nasty comment after comment to many people, especially me, and has not been sanctioned???
I feel like leaving IQ. I nearly have already. I cannot take these comments any longer.
@ele : I have now reinstated your account on Inward Quest. Your account was suspended, not because of this question posted at the top of this thread on Meta, but because of private messages sent to the moderators using terms which if used by an attorney might indicate a threat of legal proceedings that could involve Inward Quest. As the site owner, I felt the prudent course of action was to temporarily suspend your account and assess the legal risks to the website. I am not going to inflame this situation further by saying what those private messages contained.
@ele, @Jaianniah : Regarding the question that has been asked at the top of this thread, it seems that what we have here is a perception of aggressive behaviour by one member of the site against another, neither of whom was prepared to ignore what the other is saying or doing. I would ask both of you to consider that anyone looking at these interactions on Inward Quest from the outside will be forming their own opinions and those opinions will likely be based (unfairly or not) on the behaviour of those involved rather than the ideas being expressed. I have noticed that readers of this site are generally intelligent insightful people who can make up their own minds about any issue even if one person is choosing to deliberately ignore the comments of another. And it often seems to be the case that the one doing the ignoring can end up with a higher public-perceived level of integrity and trust by choosing not to get involved. As I have said previously on Meta, it takes two people to have an argument.
It is not my place to become involved in the nature of your disagreement. I cannot possibly know the rights and wrongs of the subject matter you are disagreeing about. My concern, as site owner, is about how it reflects on Inward Quest and those who visit the site daily looking for spiritually-based information. With that in mind, I would ask both of you to please consider taking a more positive approach with your interactions with others and choose in future to just ignore any behaviour you do not like. If you really feel the need to express your point of view (perhaps to clear up a factual misunderstanding), it can still be done in a more neutral objective way. I note that there are many on Inward Quest who already impart their strongly-held opinions quite effectively in this dispassionate emotionally-neutral manner.
@Jaianniah : I've seen reference to you describing some of your questions as being "rhetorical" in nature. If that is the case, I would appreciate it if you could please make this clear on any future "rhetorical" questions you ask as I perceive that at least some of the people answering those questions are doing so because they are under the impression that those answers are important to you. The dictionary definition of the word "rhetorical" carries an implication that the answers do not matter. It seems to me that some would not have invested time and effort in writing those answers if they were aware of the "rhetorical" nature of the questions.
I'm sorry if either of you ( @ele, @Jaianniah ) was expecting some kind of definitive conclusion regarding this issue but, as I hope you appreciate, I am not a professional arbitrator or a legal representative. I am hoping that both of you can resolve your differences amicably between yourselves, or else please just completely ignore each other. But I have to point out that if this does not work and the situation on Inward Quest escalates further, I will resort to permanent account suspensions not least to protect the site from becoming embroiled in legal actions.
answered Nov 23 '13 at 03:10
Simon Templeton ♦♦
@ele, I've now temporarily suspended your account on Inward Quest while this situation gets looked at. The comments you are making (and are continuing to make) appear to be causing considerable distress to another user of Inward Quest and I want to calm things a bit while we look at what has been posted and try to come to a resolution regarding this matter.
I've now also undeleted the answer you posted to this thread since, from your comment above, it seems it was intended for me, and others, through a public channel and I would like it here publicly to add some background to what is going on. I would appreciate it if you could leave it undeleted for now.
I've noticed the comments from the user you are referring to. For whatever reason, she seems to have developed an unhealthy preoccupation with you.
The best thing you (and the other community members) can do about users like this is to not respond to her comments. Eventually, she should get bored and go away, when she realizes that she's no longer attracting any attention.
answered Nov 21 '13 at 01:28
This situation is none of my business, and I've actually made a point to stay out of it though I've watched it unfold with some interest. Though it's not my place, just sharing my 2 bits as others have done here.
I feel this is no different than any other disagreement between a variety of other members in the past, even Stingray himself, though I strongly feel this scenario is being blown out of proportion in comparison. This isn't anything new, and can be handled as easily as any other occurrence was.
In my humble and unsolicited opinion it doesn't warrant intervention (from moderators, members, or otherwise) beyond a clear instruction to all parties to set appropriate boundaries so no more issues arise.
If I were asked the instruction I would suggest is simple. First, they no longer address one another directly, as in speaking "to" or "at" one another. Beyond this, they are allowed and encouraged to continue participation on questions or answers as they see fit, irrelevant of whether one or the other is involved in the discussion. What this implies should be pretty basic and straightforward, if you're going to have discourse then make sure it is not personal. We're all adults here, we should be able to easily reconcile differences like this even before considering the subject matter of IQ.
@Jai: You know I'm very fond of you, and what you have brought to IQ. So please understand I mean this in the nicest way possible, as it's something I've tried to hint at before but I'm afraid I wasn't being blunt enough. Toughen up, girl! You've been through so much, this should be a cake walk. This isn't the first time a user has made you feel unwelcome at IQ, and that is a problem.
Not that you are having a disagreement with someone or feel uncomfortable with what they say (Remember when Stingray caused this same feeling?). The problem is that this is making you feel so impacted it is discouraging you from wanting to participate in IQ, as it has in the past with other users. If you feel more or less engaged in participating here it should be for its own sake, because we all go through phases. No user should ever be able to make you feel pushed so easily, and I'm afraid it reflects an attitude which may be the same for you off of the internet as well.
Short of someone blatantly being egregiously abusive to the point where it's clear a moderator should intervene, nothing anyone says or does should be able to have such a strong influence on you. Not something like this, this is a normal dispute. Think more like the user 'Popi Bearcat' whatever when he lost it at me, this is approaching the kind of conduct I refer to.
Ele simply has different opinions than you. She hasn't been particularly affronting, or abrupt, not broken any rules. I have no investment in this situation Jai, but I will say I think this is becoming somewhat of a pattern for you and I don't think it's good for you. I believe maybe changes in patterns or behavior here will start to reflect offline as well, and I think this could be very beneficial for you. I hope you actually consider what I'm saying here as it's coming from a friend. Either way, love all parties involved in this situation and I value and appreciate each of your participation and presence on IQ, and I would be unhappy if any conflict like this were to interfere with anything.
Love & Light. ^_^y
answered Nov 21 '13 at 08:16
I feel like Camelot has fallen. I used to enjoy IQ but felt so recently like every time I came on I had to defend my Jai. It honestly felt like being on an episode of Perry Mason, "Everything you say can and will be used against you."
Jai noticed I haven't been the same since. When you see the one you love being damaged both in print and psychologically you see all your healing efforts unraveling before your eyes everyday I guess it is enough to drive you into depression.
When you nearly lose the one you love because she feels everyone must think she freak and liar that can't be believed or trusted, I it is enough to put you into depression.
When you see the one you love terrified she is being stalked by someone, it's enough to depress you.
Lastly when you feel that a place of love, light and awakening has turned to a place that doesn't feel very good to visit, it is enough to depress you.
Maybe this has nothing to do with any of us, maybe it is Satan attacking us for exposing his evil ways on earth.
I feel IQ is a place we helped build from the start has fallen. There is a spark of hope of the old me "All things pass in time. " However in print at any time in the future printed things can always be brought up against you.
I love Jai so much, that I can't be objective, I feel neither can Jai nor ele be objective in this. I leave this in the hands of our jury, the other members to judge.
Right now at least, I'm not in a good place of mood or feeling. :-(
answered Nov 22 '13 at 18:59
@Simon Templeton- I have to reserve a detailed answer to you in regards to ele- I am presently in the ICCU Unit of Geisinger Bloomsburg Hospital in Bloomsburg, PA. I am a diabetic, and my blood sugar dropped dangerously low all day yesterday, and when it hit 44, Wade and I had to come here for help. I feel pretty sick. But I present to you the above posting by ele, which must have taken her hours to prepare. I feel that at a minimum, she is obsessed with trying to get me to see some truth or other.
Wade and I are very sad. We never meant for this to get so out of hand, but ele kept bringing up my questions, cross-questioning my logic just like I was on the witness stand being cross-examined. I know that I am too sensitive, but I did politely ask her to just drop everything and leave me alone, which just made her more determined to tear down my "logic". I will try to do more, but I am also scheduled for surgery December 4th. Wade, I think, has been harder hit. We both need time to heal and to think. Simon, if you go through all the postings in chronological order, you will see how ele was spending more and more time at this. The final straw for me was quoting me from another website a very personal posting of my (The Shadow Self Posting) and then, putting into block print, that I was hurting myself and "that is why my knee will not heal". Simon, my right knee has been healed since my knee replacement in May of 2011, which Wade was present for. I have been healed of this since then.
Thank you for at least bringing a little peace into my life at this difficult time for Wade and I. At present, I have a bad sinus infection which may explain the sugar drops. But also, I was pretty upset yesterday when I saw ele's posting of My Shadow Self. I am not sure what has gone on, but at least there is time to look into this. Thank you for at least putting a moratorium on this situation.
Blessings (as usual),
Jai AND Wade Casaldi
ADDENDUM November 22, 2013 Evening, E.S.T PLEASE READ!!!
@Simon Templeton- Simon, now that I am home from the hospital, and feeling a little better physically, I have prayed about this situation, and have decided, upon reflection, that I would like you to un-suspened @ele. I have one caveat, and it is this is it: I believe that what has really gotten out of hand is the comments area of the site. I believe that this is where the trouble started.
We all used to praise each other in the comments area, or make suggestions, add information and links to the postings. But suddenly, the Comments area has become a place for a chat-like atmosphere- joking, a bit of flirting, innuendos, etc., which I feel in the long run adds nothing to a site that is supposed to be a positive place, a place that exists for Good, AND PURELY INFORMATIONAL..
So what I ask, if @ele is us-suspended, is that not just she but everyone tone down their comments, and get back to praise and addition of ideas and exchanges of pure information. This should not be a place where we tear one another down. I was very wrong, @ele, to call you a Troll. I apologize. I am truly sorry. I am as guilty as anybody in this department- except for Wade, and a few other people. We have lost a few regular people- have you noticed? The tone of Inward Quest needs to get back to a more informational and clearly positive site.
I could go back to a few posts to demonstrate the "chat" stuff- but I do not think this will be necessary. @ele- I ask that you refrain from analyzing my posts, and doing it because you honestly believe you are helping me. You may actually be right as far as inconsistencies in my postings go, but I have made it clear many times that I am a damaged human trying to get well- trying to do better every day- but I goof up, I slide, and sometimes my alters post things that I later regret.
Simon, Jesus taught that one should turn the other cheek. I am willing to trust that @ele will stop her obsession with trying to get me to "see the light". I understand that she may be coming from a very clear place in her opinion. But, being as damaged as I have been, all ele has accomplished is to make me feel stalked and hurt and upset. I know that she has been hunting the Internet for info about me...and I think that is wrong. Posting one of my writings from another place was wrong. So if @ele agrees to move on with this, I think that the suspension should be lifted.
We can ALL can learn from this. We need to remember that this site is like Wikipedia for anything remotely spiritual or "of the other world." I think if we all work together, and stop goofing off, and get back to serious para-science, we'll all be the happier for it.
Simon, I am sorry for my part in this...I could use the defense that I have been very ill and definitely off my nut at one point (well, when your blood sugar swings back and forth from 44 to 298, you are bound to be a bit wonky!). But that is not fair. I, too, need to remember that this site is not for emotional sagas or for drama.
Will this satisfy everyone? @ele, will you agree to back down, and let me be me? In turn, I truly apologize for hurting you. I am sure i must have.
Simon, I hope this will make everyone satisfied, and makes something positive out of something negative. I posted a bit ago that I truly wanted to learn how to be a Peacemaker. Well, here's my offer of Peace. I hope it will put an end to what truly will seem very silly one day.
NOTE<?B>: Wade is a very special person. He is a truly positive and almost holy person. All of this hoo-rah has really upset him. Please forgive him for loving me so much that he has had to step out of his usual peaceful role.
With Hope and Peace,