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Asked: Jan 04 '14 at 00:59

Seen: 1,865 times

Last updated: Feb 20 '14 at 15:54

Dear @Simon,

I understand you may NOT respond & maybe you won't even find time to read this. It's also possible @flowsurfer has already been in contact with you & all this is in naught.

If a moderator reads this great & if anyone wants to comment that's good too.

Until recently I believed the moderators were reading every post. Now I realize, this is not the case. I'm guessing another member flagged the comment made by @flowsurfer which ended up getting him suspended for intentional disruption of IQ.

I'm having trouble understanding why @flowsurfer was suspended or suspended for the reasons given.

This is a link to the question & the answer which is where flow made the comment which got him suspended.

Unless I'm missing something and a post was deleted that I'm not aware of, I believe an error was made. I don't think the moderator had time to fully investigate & based his decision partially on what a well respected member of IQ said when flagging the comment as well as discussions held earlier on the subject here.

If you go to @flowsurfer 's profile & click on "recent activity" you can follow his activity on IQ the day his acct was suspended.

I came online shortly after he was suspended & clicked on flow's recent activity.

According to flows recent activity, the last thing flow said prior to logging off the nite before was this ~

4 @Wade I'm sorry if I was harsh with you, I'm just in a very angry and depressed mood right now. (28 Nov, 19:42)flowsurfer

The next day he logged back on and made a comment at 8:08 which he edited 3 minutes later. I have no idea what was said prior to his edit. The comment he edited was in reply to what @ikaruss21 said after flow logged off the nite before.

The following is the edited comment he made at 8:11 & the last sentence of his comment is the reason given for his suspension ~

@ikaruss21 Yea, because I am insulting him when I tell him to shut up but when he tells me to shut up, it's just fine. Here it is: you are a ####### idiot. Did you enjoy that? Did that satisfy your rape fantasies? In fact, I am so disgusted by some of you people that I'm going to start a game. Let's see if I can be offensive enough to get banned. (29 Nov, 08:11)

Flow made the above comment at 8:11. It appears to me he got up from his computer ~ maybe he went outside, walked around the block, got some fresh air & then got back on his computer & started reading what he wrote the night before. It appears to me, flow realized he was out of line & was trying to make amends because he made this comment 37 minutes later ~

2 @Wade Sorry for the "don't be an idiot" part. Look, I really hope my impression is completely false. More than that, I realize that Jai went through very traumatic experiences which literally ###### up her mind. I do not think I would be that great if I had gone through that. We all have some kind of darkness within. If you see the good in her and are willing to take the risks in order to help her heal, that is perfectly understandable. We all also have our light within. (29 Nov, 08:48)flowsurfer

An hour and 5 min's after flow said I'm going to start a game" a moderator came on and said the following with no regard to the comment flow made at 8:48 ~

3 @flowsurfer, your comment: "I'm going to start a game. Let's see if I can be offensive enough to get banned" demonstrates you are now deliberating attempting to disrupt Inward Quest. Your account is now suspended. (29 Nov, 09:16

Maybe the moderator never noticed the apology @flow made 37 min's after he said "he was going to start a game" in a moment which appears to me, to be one of total frustration on flow's part. Perhaps flow was reading over all the comments he made the night before & planned on making more apologies; but was suspended before he could.

I've interacted with flow often since he joined last Christmas. Until the month or so prior to his acct being suspended; I've never known him to be anything other than calm, polite, respectful & very well mannered. I can't even recall him cursing prior to the last couple months. Never got angry. Very controlled ~ showed little or no emotion. He's been extremely depressed & suicidal as well as angry. I'm NOT making excuses or trying to justify his words. I'm sharing my point of view because I've interacted with him often.

Personally, I think flow was frustrated & blowing off steam when he made the comment which the moderator mistook as a threat. He was being a bit melodramatic because I think he was very frustrated & perhaps hurt by the comments made by other members. There was a major breakdown in communication between many members.

He made a comment to @Vesuvius which was out of line the nite before. Perhaps after he apologized to @Wade he was going to apologize to him also; but was suspended before he could. He could have been reading over the thread & looking for links to post supporting his claims in regards to sexual abuse of men. Perhaps he was going to apologize to @ikaruss21 too. He certainly wasn't doing anything to disrupt IQ.

I know if you look at the answer where the comments were made it looks bad; but remember the comments between DB, Jai, ursixx & flow were made the nite before. I'm not trying to excuse flow's behavior but I understand his frustration with DB, @ursixx & @Jai & I think if you read what I wrote you will understand also. If you wish ~ please see my comments on what I was thinking when I read what $B, ursixx , ikaruss21, & Jai said here .

I believe one of the main points flow was trying to make was ~ NOT everyone resides in N America, the UK or another civilized country. I think this is where much of his frustration was coming from.

Even though I knew the moderator may of made a mistake, I didn't speak up right away for 2 reasons. 1st, because I honestly thought he was leaving because he asked to have his acct suspended. He wrote the following & gave his points away. I thought he was killing time until the moderators took action on his request. I know he didn't go through proper protocol; but he prob thought what I did ~ the mods read the threads & would eventually see it. I noticed @The Science Joke guy didn't follow protocol when he asked for his acct to be suspended & luckily a moderator noticed his comment soon after he made it.

I'm going to paste what flow said ~

" I need to detach from this community, from this network. I have difficulty because it feels like a lifeline, sort of like I'm in the ocean and it's the only ship passing by that might hear my cry for help and I can't let go of it. I know intellectually that I will not find help here. I might find distraction or empathy but not the actual key that liberates me from whatever it is, internal or external, that is keeping me down. I know I can't seek that from family or anyone else either. I don't want to be involved in drama. I don't want to complain. It's just not worth my time. I want a life that I am proud to own. I don't know if that life is possible but I know I won't find it here. I am not sure how to cope but I need to focus on something else. I need to stop thinking that asking for help is my last option and find something deeper that will actually work. Maybe the key is subtle and hidden in plain sight. Maybe I haven't surrendered enough to Neville's approach. I don't know, I have to figure it out. If possible, I would like to have my account suspended or deleted/banned to avoid the temptation of coming back. I mean it, please do it. Thank you for trying your best to provide comfort and guidance to me. Maybe something you said will bounce around in my head enough to make a difference. link|award points|report this answer answered 26 Nov, 16:57

flowsurfer (suspended)

The 2nd reason was because I thought he needed a time out. Time to cool off & think about how he was acting & the words he was using. Take time to realize & appreciate IQ & all the members.

Then I saw this & realized he wanted to come back. He doesn't have any friends, or a job & lives in his moms basement. He said IQ was a lifeline for him.

I waited an additional amt of time before posting this question because of Jai. I knew if she continued to go after flow & he responded emotionally instead of thinking first, he would not get another chance & his suspension would be permanent. If you want to read more about this - see here . I realize it's a very long read - you can start reading where I wrote Not a curse word was uttered in bold print. Please read the next 4 short paragraphs which include a quote by you (Simon) if you so desire.

I don't think @Catherine would mind if I posted what she wrote here. If you haven't read the answers on this question ~ maybe you should. It's a good read.

>@ele I thought it was a bit harsh that Flowsurfer was booted out without much warning but presumably he could appeal to Simon's kind heart - (20 Dec '13, 09:20) Catherine

... and remember, flow joined on x-mas day. (sorry, pulling out all the stops)

I would also like to post a quote by Stingray to NB which I feel is applicable also especially if you combine it with what Simon said in regards to the profanity scanner & yes, you can find the complete quote here.

The moderators are always tolerant of anyone that is sincerely participating in the exchange but may drift into bad language, perhaps because of their emotional state due to stressful life circumstances they may currently be involved in. The profanity scanning should take care of this.

While in your prosperous situation, you are in vibrational reach of Just do it, there are many in strong emotional pain who are not, and sites like IQ give them breathing space (and hope) from their existing limiting beliefs (19 Sep '13, 09:49 Stingray

I honestly can't see how the moderator could suspend flow for the reason given. If you follow his activity ~ the comments do NOT support the moderators decision. If it was my decision to make, I would suspend him by request & when he's ready to come back he could either open a new acct or come back under his old user name.** I hope you agree ...

Thank you ...


To be clear ~ I am NOT condoning flow's rude comments or his choice of words. I was also on the receiving end of flow's harsh comments a month earlier. I stopped speaking because I didn't want him to get suspended. I knew he was very upset. Hindsight tells me I should have handled it different.

Had @flow been warned or banned for what he said to @Vesuvius or the first part of the comment he made to @ikaruss I would completely understand & be in agreement. I would NOT have taken the time to write up a post asking the mods to investigate further. That was NOT the REASON his account was suspended. I could have & prob should have stuck to just the facts ~ but ~ since I went to the trouble to do this ~ thought I'd add my personal 2 cents.

asked Jan 04 '14 at 00:59

ele's gravatar image


edited Jan 04 '14 at 15:51

Intresting that down votes don't have to be explained on meta

(Jan 05 '14 at 06:08) ursixx

Downvotes don't have to be explained on IQ either. Remember when I told another member on IQ I voted down her answer & she went into a tizzy & immediately voted down 3 of my most voted & popular answers plus several wiki answers out of anger & spite? Prob explains the dv from their acct on Meta too. I recently downvoted due to the racist & offensive comments I found in my inbox when I was going through meta emails recently. Of course, all the comments have been edited ~ but ~ I have the originals. Classy ...

Did this question really get 6 downvotes?

(Jan 05 '14 at 15:07) ele

@ele Following a moderator suggestion, I've been reviewing your activities both on Meta and Inward Quest and am disappointed to note that you appear to be continuing to engage in a campaign of hostility against a number of members of both sites. The legitimacy, or not, of what you are saying towards these other members does not interest me. What I am concerned about is your continuing hostile tone towards others.

Since my previous request to take a more positive approach appears not to have been understood, let me now make clear to you that any further instance of hostility or disruption by you on either Meta or Inward Quest is going to result in your account being immediately terminated on both sites.

If you already know you are not going to comply, kindly let me know so we can save some moderator time and suspend your account forthwith.


answered Jan 09 '14 at 11:58

Simon%20Templeton's gravatar image

Simon Templeton ♦♦

@ele Responding to your private email here in the interests of transparency: No moderator on Inward Quest would be allowed to take part in a heated argument on the site and be permitted to remain a moderator and no-one who has already done so would be considered to be a moderator in future. So any suggestion that anyone you have had arguments with on the site may also be acting as a moderator, and abusing that role, is completely false. Furthermore, no-one has access to any email addresses on Inward Quest other than me and one other trusted individual who I see physically on a regular basis.

(Jan 11 '14 at 09:21) Simon Templeton ♦♦

@Simon For the record ~ I never actually thought this individual was a moderator nor was this the point of my email. Sorry you weren't able to get past that part to see or address my actual concern. My email was not meant to offend.

I'm not a practitioner of zebra medicine ~ "When you hear hoofbeats, don't think zebras" ~ look for horses instead ... or in other words, look for the simplest, most common explanation to a problem first.

(Jan 12 '14 at 16:50) ele

Let me start off with saying thank you Simon for IQ. It is a source of inspiration and awaking for me.
In the LOA it is taught that part of LOA is resistance. If one perceives a comment or an answer as negative or hostile isn't that actually resistance? Then all part of LOA? and if a statement causes some resistance and is defended is there not some thing that one sees as there is truth behind the statement to make you want to defend it.
The thought came to mind of "yo mamma" When someone says "Yo mamma is so..." We can react or we can ignore. If we ignore we admit no truth to the statement. If we react we then it is a fact we debate. A truth we acknowledge.
Simon this is your ball we play by your rules that is accepted. But it would be nice if we had rules that everyone knew. Like in football (soccer as the Americans say) if you do something wrong you get a yellow card. You get 2 yellow cards then a red card, and then you out of the game for a match or two.
I do believe that members in conflict need to take a step back and consider if they are coming from a place of love and understanding. And not from their egos. As well as monitors the same.

Monitors have a heavy burden. They must see both sides of the coin. Yet in looking at one side the other side is not there. Stand the coin on its edge you can see both sides although in a limited perspective. So hats off to you.
And as far as off topic comments. Well I have a hard time not sharing humor.

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.


answered Jan 10 '14 at 05:03

ursixx's gravatar image



@ursixx I have previously said the following on Inward Quest:

"Between issues of 'The Individual vs The Collective', there inevitably arises a grey area. On Inward Quest, because of the way the software we use operates, decisions regarding those grey areas must be resolved by moderator (human) judgement. Therefore if you want to avoid becoming subject to the vagaries of such human judgement, the simple risk-free solution is to stay well clear of the grey areas."

I have no doubt that anyone self-aware enough to understand what IQ is about will know when they are pushing the limits.

(Jan 11 '14 at 13:01) Simon Templeton ♦♦

If you follow the convo here -- you can see for yourself...

from my email...

Dollar Bill has just posted a comment on the answer posted by Dollar Bill to the question Victorian censorship?

My point here is that the "N" word IS acceptable if you are a black person, Afro-American saying it! But if you are a white person, it can produce violence.

I had some friends come back from UK and they said the common name for a dishwasher (the mechanical kind) was "The Electric Nigger" I was cruious if the censor would chnage this word on Meta.

Don't forget to come over and cast your vote.

Thanks, IQ Meta

lol - checking the software - then you did it a 2nd time just to make sure.

Bill ~ you know as well as I do, why you did it. Why don't you own it.


If you were actually testing the software why add the rest? Why not just type the word?

Here's anotherlink text link where you talks about his good bud Marty ~ DR Martin Luther King..


answered Jan 07 '14 at 16:28

ele's gravatar image


edited Jan 07 '14 at 17:30

I could list a number of very clever N remarks you made on IQ.

Let me know when I should start..

(Jan 07 '14 at 16:31) ele

I repeat here for clarity - Dollar Bill is incorrect here. I've lived my entire life in the UK and can absolutely assure you that the common term for a dishwasher here is "dishwasher".

(Jan 14 '14 at 04:23) Kate
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